So You Want to Write Erotica: Sexy Times

All right! I know it’s been awhile sine my last writing post and I do apologize. My commissions have taken off on my Patreon and I am busier than I have any right to be. I love the ideas that people are coming up with. The challenge of fitting those ideas into a specific word count have made be glad that I have a process for plotting and writing a story.

Which leads me to this chapters topic: Sex!!

Ok! You’re characters have met and something or someone has tried to stop them! The buildup has been excruciating, the edge of climax like a cliff, and now all they want to do is get down to business!

Now, you may think I have a lot of wise things to say about describing the act of sex itself. However, I have a feeling if you’re a reader of erotica, you already know what you like or don’t like. All I can offer is some advice I have acquired over about twenty years of consuming and writing smut.

No Numbers

The first thing I am going to say may come as a shock to you, but I’m going to say it anyway. Do not give me measurements when your are describing your characters. Every time I see someone write that a woman has a 36 D cup and a 24 inch waist my first question is: How the hell do you know? I actually stop and think about it and I don’t want to think when I am reading smut! I don’t even know my wife’s cup size, let alone a character in a book. This goes for height too!

If you are walking down the street, see if you can figure out how tall an average person is, or a woman’s cup size. Don’t ask anyone to see if you’re correct, that’s just rude and may get you slapped or arrested. No, instead of numbers, use your writerly gifts.

Use all of your senses!

Are they tall, short, fat, heavy, thick, or curvy? Then just write that. You don’t even need to use fancy words if you don’t want to, just describe them how you see them in your mind’s eye. There are lots of resources out there on words you can use to describe eyes, breasts, cocks, you name it!

And don’t stop at visuals. Tell me how they feel, the throb of their cock or the plump softness of their breast. How do they taste? Sweet, tangy, salty? And don’t forget the smell or the grunts and growls they make as their lover pushes them over the edge.

I am assuming that most of you have had sex before, so I am also going to assume you have memories of what sex felt like. You can remember the smell of a lover as you knelt between their legs and the racing of your heart as you prepared to please them. Give it to me, all of it! I want to be there, between those legs and I want to hear them scream when they cum.

I could go on and on about this subject, but the best way to really get good at this is to have lots of sex or, failing that, read lots of erotica. Do not be afraid to glean the best things from other writers and use them in your stories. I’m not telling you to plagiarize whole paragraphs or chapters, but certain terms or phrases are fair game. I still remember the first time I read the words ‘she ran her tongue up the belly of his shaft’. That phrase drove me crazy and I still use it!


There is one last thing I want to say about the sex scene. I cannot count how many times I have read a story and gotten to the sex and all of a sudden the two combatants become porn stars. They enjoy every moment and any emotions, love, anger, or worry, are overcome by lust. Now, if you’re story is about two people hooking up that’s great! But, if you are telling a story and these two characters have had to fight to get here, then they better have some emotions when it comes to the actual act. Are they worried about performing? If there is an age difference, how does that come into play? Are they cheating and, if so, are they thinking about their spouse as they go down on their lover?

Sex doesn’t happen in a vacuum. There are always emotions, even if it’s a random bar hookup. In the throes of passion, give me something else to wrap my mind around besides body parts slapping together. That’s what I want and I think a lot of other readers do too.

#Darotica Note: As you can probably guess, there are a lot of emotions in my books. Since every woman is cheating or cuckolding on their husbands, there is always the shame of cheating on their spouse coupled with an overwhelming need for their lover. Sometimes, there are conflicting feelings of love for both men. For the husband’s part, there is the jealousy of his wife with another man, the humiliation of not being able to please her, and the fear that he will lose her. My books are a minefield and I am not saying that you have to be gut-wrenching, but adding a little emotion can seduce a reader’s heart as well as their mind.

Well, that’s about it for our little sex talk! I’m sure you have your own ideas. Don’t be afraid to share them in the comments or give me a shout on Twitter!

Until next time, read an erotica novel you’ve always loved. How did they describe the act? What words or phrases stick out to you? What emotions did they use to make the scene more powerful?

Good Writing!

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